Being Taken Care Of
I didn't realize until just a second ago how safe I feel to just take care of me.
Because he can take care of us. All 3 of us.
This morning Scott got up and I stayed in bed. For several hours.
He made coffee. And I knew if the boys woke up and wanted something he'd just fix them something.
He was completely competent to just handle it.
Y'all - I've NEVER slept in and left my family to fend for themselves.
I've always felt that I was the only one that could take care of everyone.
I'm sure that's not a fair statement.
Maybe, I felt like I was the only one that WOULD step up and just handle the dang thing (like making breakfast).
This feeling of being with a partner that can literally handle all of the things is fresh and new and so beautiful I could cry.
My heart might just burst.
I am so, so grateful that I get to experience equality of partnership in this lifetime.
That I'm taken care of so dang well that I want to take care of everyone else so dang well too.
I no longer feel depleted and drained.
A year ago I was telling my therapist "I'm just so f*ing exhausted".
I'm not sure who that version of me is anymore.