Major Life Update: I'm Getting Divorced
Ok, I'm sure you're all wondering... WTF is this big life update?
Well, almost a year ago I had this veil lift from my eyes, and I realized that I wanted more for my marriage.
I live arms-wide-open and fully cannonball into the deep end of life in every other aspect of life, but I had stayed small in my marriage, shrinking to fit into the box that felt comfortable to him.
I started seeing a therapist to see if I could positively affect us - maybe there were some tips or tricks I could learn that would turn things around. That would leave me feeling satisfied.
Several months into therapy, I invited him to participate.
After months of couples therapy, we decided to open up our marriage to see what else was out there for both of us.
We started dating other people, while we were also still together.
So many things opened for both of us, and let me tell you - I am sooooo glad we opened our marriage to include other partners in a safe container, because it has made closing the door on this season of marriage to each other much easier then if we were both just left out on the metaphorical curb all alone.
Instead, we have hope and excitement for the other partners in our life.
We've seen what's possible "out there", beyond the two of us in our closed marriage.
We've also learned what we like, and don't want. We've gained incredible clarity on what the next chapter in our lives need to look like.
And it's a future where we aren't partnered anymore.
We've both been incredibly open with the kids. They know about opening our marriage, they've met my now primary partner and hang with him on the regular.
I even talked to my oldest about how I've recently kissed a woman and explored my own sexuality. This was in a conversation about "love is love" and we can be attracted to either gender. The heart chooses what it wants, and we are allowed to explore fully.
Y'all - so many learnings and lessons along the way over here.
I'm grateful I listened to my inner wisdom and shared this experience with my kids.
I'm glad neither of us resorted to lying to each other, or those most important in our lives.
I'm honored to have an amazing support system that has enveloped me in love and support along the way.
And we've created what this experience of separating looks like for us as a family and completely written on our own rules. We have gone out to lots of breakfasts, talked about each other's dates, hung out in the hot tub, and shopped together for his new apartment.
We can love each other AND let each other go.
He moves out this week, and I begin a whole new chapter full of hope and excitement for what is next.
Hold on to your hats folks - this year is going to be monumental for so many of us!