Conscious Coparenting These Days
So much is happening in my world and I wanted to update you!
If you're new to my blog, I wrote a bunch of posts a little more than a year ago about the uncoupling of my 2nd marriage.
Over the past year, so much has happened.
My partner Scott moved in.
After 6 months of building our foundation in a monogamous relationship, we opened up and have been dating women together.
Throughout all of these months, my ex has been dating the same woman - someone he met a few months after we divorced.
Just before leaving for Ireland, my boys had dinner with him and he told them he was engaged and showed them pictures of her.
My first husband has also been dating a woman and for the first time in a decade since our divorce, he's serious about someone.
He's also showed the boys her picture, talks about her, and tells them they'll be meeting her when they get back from Japan next month.
When you have joy in your heart instead of jealousy or resentment, that's when you know you've arrived.
Or that you're really dedicated to consciously coparenting with your exes.
Some things I've noticed lately is how important all of these masculine figures are in my boys' life.
My mom overheard the boys referring to my second husband as "his step dad", even half a year after our divorce.
I'm not sure what they call Scott, but they love learning new things from him, like board games, video games, trivia, and more.
It's hard to imagine cutting previous partners out of our life just because we're not together anymore, and feel that it would be detrimental to the boys' mental health.
It makes my heart sad to think that just because I no longer want to be romantically involved, that my boys would lose another adult that's 100% on their team and rooting for their success.
Other random family updates:
My kids' dad ended up coaching my oldest's baseball team, so we've all been helping to get the kids to their respective fields across town.
We're about to step into 4 day a week games.
Oh, the life of a baseball family!
Scott is interviewing for engineering internships and I think has landed on a place he wants to work.
For the last year and a half I've been so lucky to have him at home all day since he's been finishing up his engineering degree, and I'm realized that I might have taken all of these glorious months together for granted.
The boys are also going back to school in person this fall, the first time since before Covid.
So I'm realizing that for the first time in about 3 years, I'm going to be home alone all day.
Such a weird and unsettling feeling.
I've so enjoyed having the boys come downstairs at lunchtime and cook for us.
Having extra hours in our days to go to the pool, or just hang out. Not commuting to school is so freaking nice!
So I'm working through a bit of anxiety as I face so many changes on the horizon.